When I Grow Up...

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question that is asked at every stage of childhood.

First, I wanted to be a marine biologist. 

Then it was a dancer, a horse trainer, broadway performer, counselor, designer and on-and-on-and on.

Finally, the decision was made.

I wanted to be a journalist.

Or at least for my paid profession.

I had a lot of dreams and went through a lot of different "chapters" of my life.

But there is one dream that never changed -

the desire to be a mom.

As the father of 6 girls, my Dad always taught us that we could do it and have it all.

He wanted us to stand on our own two feet and shoot for the stars.

ANY career we wanted was within reach, no matter how unrealistic.

This same mentality was what made me fall in love with James.

That boy believed in me more than I ever believed in myself.

As I told my parents when we were dating, "he wants me to shine."

I wanted my education. 

I wanted to know that if I wanted it - or needed it -

I could have a professional, paid career.

Sure, I wanted that worldy pat on the back.

But I always wanted to spend my life being a mom.

I was lucky.

I chose a major that gave me real work experience.

College was a good chapter of life.

I was able to report and host.

I had an incredible, once in a lifetime internship where I made lifelong friends.

When I was interning at the Today Show I noticed

that even some of those who have "made it" to the big leagues longed for more family time.

Closing the college chapter was definitely strange.

I was told that my career was basically doomed because I was following James - 

but I knew it was right and did not hesitate making the decision.

I wasn't sacrificing my family time.

I was quickly blessed to find a job where I was able to do a little reporting, writing, hosting and producing.

I started that chapter feeling confident and ready for challenges.

And within just a few months in the "career world" I longed for more.

Not more professionally. More personally.

Both James and I felt that there was a little one ready to come to our family.

We knew it clear as day and have never looked back.

My last day at OC Metro was March 30.

{I am a bit behind in blogging, eh?}

At first, I planned to go in from 6-9 each morning while James watched the baby.

But I quickly realized this wasn't going to work for us and it wasn't what I wanted.

Was it a hard decision to leave "my career?"

Not at all.

This was the job that I always wanted. The job of a mother.

But it was weird to leave that stage of life and that mindset.

I chose my career path nearly six years ago.

I dedicated most of my time and energy into pursuing my career.

Letting all of that go isn't necessarily hard -

it is just strange.

It was hard to leave the Churm Media team.

But I won't be far.

I plan to visit often and write for them when I can.

A little here and there to keep my hands in the mix.

I was welcomed with open arms nearly a year ago by every single person in that office.

Steve Churm is an incredible CEO and outstanding journalist.

He has worked with me and accommodated my schedule.

He was kind and generous.

I will miss the early morning team and banter between Nicole, Caitlin, Albert and Larry.

They were like my early morning family.

I am already longing for their life updates.

Suzanne has been a great addition to the office crew and I will miss her determination, drive and support.

And then there is Kim.

She is the one that interviewed me for the position 

and I think I would have accepted it no matter what the job was.

She just put off that positive, warm vibe.

She is a mentor to me both professionally and personally.

I hope to never lose these friends.

On my last day they had a little baby shower for me in the office.

I was blown away.

I told them not to do anything and that I would bring bagels.

Instead, they pulled out all the stops and spoiled me rotten.

My sweet husband stopped by to watch me on my last day

 and my wonderful mom happened to be in town.

It was nice that they got to experience it all with me.

It turned out to be the perfect way to close that chapter.

Thank you to everyone who contributed and made it possible.

Now, I am on to the next chapter.

The one that I've been longing to write all these years.

And just like before, my dear James wants me to shine.

This is what he wants for me now and forever.

He is going to be an incredible Dad to this little girl.

She may be doomed with me as a Mom - 

but boy is she lucky to call him Dad.

I am certain it will be the most challenging, the most important and the most rewarding chapter yet.

And the wonderful part is, it never has to end.

Motherhood is the only chapter of my life and existence that I hope to never close.

 Motherhood is exactly what I want to do now and when I "grow up."

14 days till my due date.

But who is counting?