A Birth Story :: Annie May Barker

{I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I wanted it for my records}

It was a beautiful Thursday morning. I felt prepared for our little baby girl's arrival. For weeks I had a feeling I would deliver on Friday, April 20. I told James and my parents. They all thought I was crazy. James was supposed to go on a campout and I told him that it wasn't going to happen. He would be in the hospital with me. I was half serious and half hoping. I cleaned my house and set out for a beautiful morning walk around our neighborhood doing hills and curbs. 

{a shot from my morning walk}

I texted James to let him know that I wasn't feeling any contractions. The night before I had felt cramp like symptoms that were different from the braxton hicks. We shrugged them off thinking that it was just my body preparing. James laughed and told me that I could still have another two weeks. He was right. But I was going to pamper myself today - just in case. I headed to the pool with my friend Rosanna. We beached our pregnant bodies there for several hours before I went to get a prenatal massage. I was really pampering myself. I hadn't done anything like this my entire pregnancy and I thought I better jump on it while I had the chance. It was very relaxing. She pressed on a few pressure points but was very cautious. I was even a bit irritated that she didn't do more. But it was still the most relaxing hour of my entire pregnancy. I zipped through Costco and was on my way home 15 minutes later. It was 5:30 p.m. and I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the 405. I started noticing cramp like symptoms again and since I wasn't going anywhere, I decided to start timing them - just for kicks and giggles. It was strange. They were about 11 minutes apart and were quite painful. I decided not to look too much into it and went on my merry way. Normally I would call or text my mom. But I was trying to suppress any false excitement. James texted me to let me know he would be home at 6:30. It was the earliest he had gotten home in quite some time and I was determined to make him a good dinner. And I did. As I dished up our plates James noticed that I was hunching over every so often. I told him the cramp like symptoms had returned. He timed them through dinner - for one hour. Strange. Now they were 7 minutes apart. I was really confused. Could the massage have given me some sort of false contractions? Surely this wasn't real. I tried to hide my pain. I didn't want to overreact. I texted my mom. I told her not to get her hopes up but to make sure her bag was packed. We were setting out on an evening stroll and I'd call her after. Off we went. I felt pretty good in between. I even did a few curbs. They were about 6 minutes apart with little pains in between. James noticed that I'd slow significantly during a contraction. I still didn't want to let myself or James get too excited. So I tried to forge on. I even told James to stop timing because I was certain my mind was just telling my body to do this every 6 minutes. James was getting excited. He liked timing. When we got home and I decided to shower but first James wanted to go over my birth plan. 

For months I had been reading about natural childbirth and hoping for the best. No one really knew but James and my parents. I just wanted it to be something private that I worked on. At first James wasn't so keen on the idea. He didn't know if he could handle seeing me in that much pain. But as time went on he got more excited about the idea. I read Husband Coached Childbirth and tried to relay the most important parts to him. Suddenly, in that moment - he was invested. I told him no epidural. No petocin. I was ok with an IV just to be safe. I reminded him that his job was to manage everything at the hospital and to help me. Remind me of my intervals and breathing. It was a quick conversation and I knew James was going to be a great coach. I hopped in the shower and he turned on ESPN. It was now just after 8:00.

 The shower felt good. Really good. I let the hot water run over my back and tried to relax. The contractions were moving to my back as I started to blow dry my hair. I had to stop every few minutes and hang myself over the bed. James called my parents and told them to drive to Vegas. At least they'd be closer. I came downstairs and we decided to start timing again. I called my mom. Is this really what contractions felt like? I couldn't make it through the call. The contractions were now 2 to 3 minutes apart but my water hadn't broken. I was still in denial. Even though my book said this would happen - I still fully believed this wasn't for real. I was in a lot of pain. I curled into a ball and James counted me through each contraction, rubbing my back. I knew he was going to be a good coach. He was now following me around with a towel - worried my water was going to break somewhere. My parents advised James to call my doctor. It was now 10:45 p.m. My doctor asked to talk to me. When he heard my voice he said that I needed to go in. I said, "Are you sure? My goal is to stay at home for as long as possible." He said that if they were coming 2 to 3 minutes apart he needed to know what was going on. I hung up and James started moving. He was that excited husband. We had a sweet moment as husband and wife in between contractions. I won't ever forget it. Standing in our bedroom. Me leaning on James. Our lives were about to forever change. As things were whirling around us we stood still for a moment to take it all in. And then we were off. I couldn't sit in my seat. I sat backward and curled into a ball. In my head I thought we were going to get sent home. I told James that I at least wanted to be dilated to a 4. My doctor had already called to let them know I was coming in and before I knew it we were hooked up and I was checked. It was 11:45.

I was 90% effaced and a 3. I looked at James and said "I can't do this." At this point I had been in labor for about 6 hours and was only at a 3. Surely I was in for the long haul. He held my hand and reminded me that we could do hard things. It is his saying and one he will stick by. Contractions were just 60 seconds and we could get through. The nurse asked what my birth plan was. James took over - just like I had asked. He said we wanted no medication if possible. She smiled and said she had done it all natural with both of her kids. She promised that she wouldn't offer it from here on out and if I wanted it - I could ask. What a relief. This was my biggest fear about doing it natural and I didn't want to upset the nurses or have a problem.  Now my secret was out and I didn't want to back out. I labored in triage for 45 minutes. Soon my sweet nurse was taking me up to the delivery room. I hunched over and held on to the side railings during each contraction. I told her that I'd need to use the restroom on the way. She looked concerned and said she'd check me first. The pain was insane. But James talked me through. My parents were on their way and I was sure they would make it. James made calls to let his family know but they were already fast asleep. Moments later we arrived in labor and delivery. I asked to go to the bathroom again to no avail. The nurse checked me. She said, "You are almost at an 8." Shock and sheer joy set in. I could do this. I think I literally laughed out loud. I could not believe I had gone from a 3 to an 8 so quickly. I think it was just over an hour. Sweet James had tears in his eyes already. He said - we are doing it! The nurse ran to the hall and said my doctor was on his way but that there was a doctor there in the hospital that could deliver in case my doctor couldn't make it in time. "You are progressing really fast," she said. It was about 1:00 a.m. My water still hadn't broken but my nurse said not to worry - that it would go in time.

 Suddenly we realized my parents wouldn't make it. I was disappointed. I knew my mom would be devastated. But it was all happening so fast and was out of my control. Looking back, I know it was meant to be and so do they. I think it was the best hours of our marriage. We worked as a team. Never once getting frustrated. I still can't believe it. We get frustrated over taking out the trash - yet now we were completely calm. James talked me through it - held my hand and looked me dead in the eyes. I'll never forget how dead set his eyes were on mine. I was never so sure of us as in those moments. He never let go of that left hand. Ever. He kept saying "you are doing it." I focused on relaxing my entire body at all times - even during a contraction. It helped. I wanted to get up. My nurse said, "oh no you don't." She checked me again. It was 1:15 a.m. I was almost a 10. Again, shock! She said, "do you want to push?" YES! She ran to the hall. People were pouring in with all sorts of contraptions. I was smiling and laughing in between contractions because I was so happy it was happening so fast. During contractions I thought I might throw up. The pain was so bad. She encouraged me to lay on my side - and that helped. My doctor popped his head in. Hallelujah. He had made it! My nurse taught me how to push. My water still hadn't broken. 

Up until now the pain was manageable. My whole pregnancy I was worried about contractions. I had prepared and practiced for them. Why didn't I prepare for pushing? It was the worst and greatest pain I had ever felt. I will never forget James asking if it was normal for my face to turn so red. Ha. I am still laughing about it. I think he thought I was going to pass out. I hadn't been sweaty or loud at any point...until now. All hopes of looking good in pictures was now off. I didn't care. I was sweaty and gross. Bottom line - pushing was hard and extremely painful but I liked feeling every bit. 30 minutes later and my water still hadn't broken. The doctor came in because it just wasn't giving. He broke my water. It was fast and relieved a huge amount of pressure. The doctor left for about 1 minute before the nurse called him back in. We were ready. I could feel her moving down and was sure she was going to pop out at any second. My doctor got dressed and told me to slow down. My parents were on speaker. Another nurse came in to take pictures and the baby nurse had already arrived. I loved hearing them all cheer me on. My doctor was extremely calm and kept telling me I was doing great. James was still to my left and being as sweet as could be. The babies head was crowning. I could see it and so could James. Then - it hit. The most intense pain I had ever felt in my life.  It was indescribable. And then - out came her head. It felt amazing and a huge relief. But there was no crying. I was scared and quickly said "Why isn't she crying?" "Give it one more push," the doctor told me. I did...and out she came. She let out a huge cry and I knew she was my daughter. It was 2:12 a.m.

The next few minutes of my life will forever be etched in my memory. I cry just typing about it. The pain was instantly gone - or out of my mind. I have never felt so much joy. There we were - the three of us. I never imagined something so sacred and powerful. It is true what they say - the veil was incredibly thin. I don't remember anyone else in that moment. Just our little family. We were both extremely emotional. I kept saying "she is perfect" and James stroked my head telling me "you did it!" She calmed down the second she hit my skin. We talked to her. Comforted her and told her we loved her - over and over and over again. This little face brought us sheer happiness. She was simply perfect. I was devastated that my camera card was full and the nurse couldn't take any more pictures but James captured the moment on his phone. It is a video that we will hold near and dear for the rest of our lives. The moment we became parents.

We snuggled her in for about 15 minutes. I was given one little shot of pitocin for the third stage of labor. She nursed right away. We took it all in. James snapped pictures and called family. The nurse weighed her right in our room while the doctor finished stitches. James held the baby's hand the entire time. As the doctor was wrapping up we had a good laugh. He said that next time I should probably get right to the hospital. It was a fast labor. Just under 10 hours. 

When the nurse announced she was 6 pounds 6 ounces the doctor replied "It's a good thing she was small - she came so fast." She was 18 inches long. 

We snapped this picture with my incredible doctor {who was up at all hours to help me deliver} and then the room cleared out. At Hoag Hospital they give you one hour with your new family. It was the fastest hour of my life. Annie slept like an angel and we admired everything about her.

Soon my sweet nurse Lori was back. Oh, she was wonderful. I got right up and walked to the bathroom. I felt relatively fabulous for just having a baby. Sadly, the hospital won't let you walk the halls holding your baby. I wanted to do a victory lap on my way to recovery since my legs were working wonderfully.

On the way to our new room James told Annie he had gotten her an ocean view room for her first day of life.  He was right. Boy were we spoiled. 

We settled in together as a new family. It was a blissful foggy Friday morning.  Looking back I still can't believe how the stars aligned for my labor and delivery. From James getting home early to eating dinner at the perfect time, laboring at home, having my doctor on call, my nurse believing in an all natural delivery and everything progressing so quickly. I was lucky. very. very. lucky. Yes, it was the worst pain I had ever felt. But I loved feeling it and hope to do it again. I am beyond amazed at how miraculous the human body is. The miracle of life is permeating our lives and we couldn't be happier.

More to come.