Introducing...

 Annie May Barker

Born on April 20, 2012 at 2:12 am

6 pounds 6 ounces

18 inches long

Named after both of her loving grandmothers.

Ann Barker and Ann Staples

We are absolutely smitten with this little piece of heaven.

The last few days have been the most incredible, surreal moments of our lives.

The miracle of life and the blessing of family is all consuming.

Much, much more to come about this tiny one's debut.

For now, I am going to snuggle her up and pray time never passes.

Life in the Making:: 38.5 Weeks

Praying this is the last pregnant self portrait we all have to endure.

As much as I have absolutely loved the miracle and divinity of pregnancy....

I am ready.

Lets be honest, who isn't at this point?

I am feeling huge and ready to pop.

Just 9 more days till my due date.

{I will be 39 weeks on Friday}

I am excited, anxious, tired and simply ready for her to be here.

Nervous? Absolutely.

But ready to meet this sweet thing.

Ready to experience the miracle of birth and life.

Any time will do.

The last few weeks were filled with ups and downs.  I had my 37 week appointment and was still measuring small. The ultrasound tech was in the office so my doctor had me go in to make sure things were ok. I had a good laugh that we were doing this again and just texted James.  To make a very long story short - our little girl is right on schedule size wise. However, her right kidney isn't draining like it should. I was sent to a high-risk specialist for extra testing. I'll be honest - I was terrified and quite a few tears were shed. But after the additional testing and meeting with my doctor I am feeling much, much better. This is a "normal problem" and while it is not ideal we have every reason to believe that once she is born it will all work itself out. No emergencies. She's not in pain and her quality of life is not in jeopardy. Of course the worry is still pretty prominent in my mind. How could it not be? No matter how much they reassure me that things will be alright - I will feel much better once I can see and hold her. I find myself constantly touching my belly and wishing I could comfort and touch her. I am trying to go about my normal nesting and quite frankly - I am shocked at how calm I have become in the last bit. My family is helping me keep my thoughts light. James and I have decided to just stay positive and have faith that it correct itself and our little girl will be just perfect.

I feel like my due date came so fast - but now the days are creeping by.

James is super busy which is adding to the "waiting" feeling.

I had my doctors appointment Monday.

He was encouraging about her kidney 

and told me this was more of a "weird" thing than a "worrisome" thing.

He said to make sure my pediatrician will be there soon after she is born.

Other than that - not to worry.

My doctor doesn't normally check first timers until they are 39 weeks

but the nurse was sweet enough to get me all set since I am 38.5 weeks.

She could tell I was getting anxious.

I am .5 cm dilated and 75 percent effaced.

As my doctor said - I have a long way to go.

Not surprised.

James is still certain this baby isn't coming until May.

I am mad at him for putting out those vibes - but he may be right.

My Dad and Allison are both coming into town for random events just one week after my due date.

I really don't want to get induced and am praying that she comes before then so they can meet her.

My sister Katie was induced and the drugs did not go over well with her.

Needless to say - I want to avoid it at all costs.

I have been spinning a little and am walking a ton. 

Hoping this helps her come close to her due date.

I still feel pretty good for the most part.

I love feeling her move and will definitely miss it.

Her movements have gone from swift kicks to what feels like squished movements.

Her little body pops out right in the middle of my belly and I can't help but giggle.

My belly definitely gets tense and contracts more at night.

On Sunday I had several hours where I had teeny tiny contractions pretty consistently.

I didn't time them but I think they were about every 30 minutes - then they stopped.

The burning up by my ribs has not subsided. It is still my biggest complaint about pregnancy. 

I am craving sweets like crazy and have indulged far more than I should - but feel just fine about it.

I might as well enjoy myself this last week right?

I wake up to go to the restroom at least 3 times a night.

My face is definitely more swollen.

On Easter - my feet swelled up pretty huge.

It was warm and I had been sitting for awhile but man I thought I had elephentitis. Ha.

It hasn't happened since and I am praying that was the last of it.

We are essentially ready.

I still have a few things I want to complete in her room but that can all be done after.

Our hospital bags and diaper bag are packed and the carseat is in the car.

My Mom is planning to come for a week followed by James' Mom.

We are lucky to have their help.

I went to a breastfeeding class last week and absolutely loved it.

Praying that all goes well.

My thoughts are pretty much consumed by her kidney and labor.

I have loved reading your birth stories and could still use more.

I've been reading a lot about labor 

and am starting to realize that I should probably focus more on how to manage once she is here.

The mommy jitters are starting to set in and I hope that I am able to step up to the mommy plate.

Any time little one, any time!

When I Grow Up...

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question that is asked at every stage of childhood.

First, I wanted to be a marine biologist. 

Then it was a dancer, a horse trainer, broadway performer, counselor, designer and on-and-on-and on.

Finally, the decision was made.

I wanted to be a journalist.

Or at least for my paid profession.

I had a lot of dreams and went through a lot of different "chapters" of my life.

But there is one dream that never changed -

the desire to be a mom.

As the father of 6 girls, my Dad always taught us that we could do it and have it all.

He wanted us to stand on our own two feet and shoot for the stars.

ANY career we wanted was within reach, no matter how unrealistic.

This same mentality was what made me fall in love with James.

That boy believed in me more than I ever believed in myself.

As I told my parents when we were dating, "he wants me to shine."

I wanted my education. 

I wanted to know that if I wanted it - or needed it -

I could have a professional, paid career.

Sure, I wanted that worldy pat on the back.

But I always wanted to spend my life being a mom.

I was lucky.

I chose a major that gave me real work experience.

College was a good chapter of life.

I was able to report and host.

I had an incredible, once in a lifetime internship where I made lifelong friends.

When I was interning at the Today Show I noticed

that even some of those who have "made it" to the big leagues longed for more family time.

Closing the college chapter was definitely strange.

I was told that my career was basically doomed because I was following James - 

but I knew it was right and did not hesitate making the decision.

I wasn't sacrificing my family time.

I was quickly blessed to find a job where I was able to do a little reporting, writing, hosting and producing.

I started that chapter feeling confident and ready for challenges.

And within just a few months in the "career world" I longed for more.

Not more professionally. More personally.

Both James and I felt that there was a little one ready to come to our family.

We knew it clear as day and have never looked back.

My last day at OC Metro was March 30.

{I am a bit behind in blogging, eh?}

At first, I planned to go in from 6-9 each morning while James watched the baby.

But I quickly realized this wasn't going to work for us and it wasn't what I wanted.

Was it a hard decision to leave "my career?"

Not at all.

This was the job that I always wanted. The job of a mother.

But it was weird to leave that stage of life and that mindset.

I chose my career path nearly six years ago.

I dedicated most of my time and energy into pursuing my career.

Letting all of that go isn't necessarily hard -

it is just strange.

It was hard to leave the Churm Media team.

But I won't be far.

I plan to visit often and write for them when I can.

A little here and there to keep my hands in the mix.

I was welcomed with open arms nearly a year ago by every single person in that office.

Steve Churm is an incredible CEO and outstanding journalist.

He has worked with me and accommodated my schedule.

He was kind and generous.

I will miss the early morning team and banter between Nicole, Caitlin, Albert and Larry.

They were like my early morning family.

I am already longing for their life updates.

Suzanne has been a great addition to the office crew and I will miss her determination, drive and support.

And then there is Kim.

She is the one that interviewed me for the position 

and I think I would have accepted it no matter what the job was.

She just put off that positive, warm vibe.

She is a mentor to me both professionally and personally.

I hope to never lose these friends.

On my last day they had a little baby shower for me in the office.

I was blown away.

I told them not to do anything and that I would bring bagels.

Instead, they pulled out all the stops and spoiled me rotten.

My sweet husband stopped by to watch me on my last day

 and my wonderful mom happened to be in town.

It was nice that they got to experience it all with me.

It turned out to be the perfect way to close that chapter.

Thank you to everyone who contributed and made it possible.

Now, I am on to the next chapter.

The one that I've been longing to write all these years.

And just like before, my dear James wants me to shine.

This is what he wants for me now and forever.

He is going to be an incredible Dad to this little girl.

She may be doomed with me as a Mom - 

but boy is she lucky to call him Dad.

I am certain it will be the most challenging, the most important and the most rewarding chapter yet.

And the wonderful part is, it never has to end.

Motherhood is the only chapter of my life and existence that I hope to never close.

 Motherhood is exactly what I want to do now and when I "grow up."

14 days till my due date.

But who is counting?

JB's Pizza

My husband knows me so well.

About a month before his birthday he started poo pooing his birthday.

My poor husband married a girl that is pretty picky about her food.

When he asked me if, "our family will ever order pizza"

I knew what I had to do for his big day.

I had major plans for his pizza party.

I searched Pinterest and found the funnest ideas.

We were going to have a big crew over, make pizza at home, wear chef hats

 - the whole shebang.

{see my board here}

But when James found out he was not happy.

Big parties are not his thing.

He truly wanted a simple, chill birthday.

I guess I had let my own desire to throw a big huge bash get in the way of the birthday boy's wishes.

Oops.

Luckily, there was one BIG surprise that I knew James would love.

His best friend Mike decided to fly in from D.C. for the weekend.

So very nice of him!

These boys have been best friends since meeting their first day at BYU nearly 8 years ago.

{You old fogies}

Now, they have the same job - on opposite sides of the country 

and still remain close.

Mike flew into town on Friday and we surprised James at work.

As you can see - James was shocked.

He was truly on cloud nine.

It was the best birthday surprise he could have asked for.

Thank you Mike!

After a brief visit, Mike and I ran a few errands, had a nice lunch date together 

and waited for James to get home.

Mike also helped me with James' gift.

I bought him the board game Risk and you would have thought I bought him a new car.

He was like a kid in a candy shop.

It was an absolute hit.

That night we had a small group over for pizza.

I convinced James to let me dress it up just a little bit.

I promised not to have framed glamour shots of him {ha}.

I sent out a little email invite and we had a party on our hands.

I am embarrassed to say that I didn't take a single picture of the attendants.

You will just have to trust me that people did come - and we did have fun!

 

James loves mint ice cream - and chocolate cake.

So I attempted a layered ice cream cake.

If i was going to go all out with pizza - why not throw in ice cream and cake right?

I had high hopes for this puppy.

But boy did it look like a mess.

The middle turned out great but I failed when it came to the frosting.

Oh well, it was still rather tasty.

It is the thought that counts right?

We had a few couples from our ward over as well as Katie and Vonn.

Another former roommate, Brandon Bledsoe, and his cute fiancé happened to be in town 

so they were able to join the party.

That night he said "it was just what he wanted out of his birthday."

I guess you could say I am finally learning the way to my husbands heart.

Simple. Pizza. Board games. Ice cream. And close friends.

Happy Birthday James!

Boy are we 

{me and the little one}

lucky to call you ours.

Can't wait for many, many more birthdays together.

Life in the Making:: 36 Weeks

{please excuse the long post}

I can hardly believe it.

Less than 4 weeks until my due date.

25 days to be exact, in fact.

The days are flying by. 

I can honestly say that I have loved being pregnant. 

Yes, it has its realistic bummer moments but the whole process is so fun.

I am determined to not wish the next few weeks away - even though I am dying to meet our little girl.

We had a bit of a scare during week 35. I started my weekly visits and went in so excited to hear how I was progressing. I was on cloud 9 and ready to find out how we were doing. My blood pressure, weight, sample, babies heart rate etc. all looked "perfect." Her head was even down. While we were talking about my plans for birth my doctor whipped out his tape measure as usual and then sat back a little perplexed. I was measuring a 31. Again. Two weeks ago he said I was measuring "a little behind but just fine." I was now measuring a month behind and hadn't grown in over three weeks. My doctor is extremely calm and so wonderful. He said he was worried about how small I was measuring and mostly that I hadn't grown in a few weeks. He wanted me to get an ultrasound immediately. My doctor is so calm and was trying to keep me calm but I felt a little panicked. James typically can't come to my appointments and boy was I wishing he was there. The doctor explained that there was a chance she wasn't growing enough and that my body could be competing with her for energy and nutrients. If the ultrasound revealed that she was small - I'd need to go on bed rest. But he repeated that there was nothing to be worried about until I had an ultrasound. Of course the hormones were setting in and all I heard was the worst.  Naturally, the Mom guilt hit me. I couldn't help it.  I wondered if I had worked too long or if I should have taken it more easy. Surely I was over dramatic for a moment or two. I prayed repeatedly for her health and fearing the worst. We scheduled an ultrasound for two hours later and I called James. Even though I told him I would be ok if he couldn't come - I was dying for him to be there. He said he wouldn't miss it and that he'd pick me up on his way. Man I love him. I would be lying if I didn't say I shed a tear or two.  My mom talked me through the next hour until James picked me up and I even found myself frantically cleaning - worried I'd be put on bed rest immediately. I will spare you every little detail but we had an ultrasound tech that was dry and gave us very few indications of what was going on. Naturally I thought her lack of - "oh your baby is cute" comments meant everything was wrong. I was teary the whole time {again with the drama} and was even certain that our baby had a clef lip at one point. Two hours later she declared that our baby weighed 5 pounds 9 ounces and was measuring just one.day.behind. ONE DAY! Needless to say, everything is just fine and we have nothing to worry about. Even if I did over react {I am hormonal after all} - it was still an answer to prayers and I am so grateful she is growing healthy and strong.

I had my 36 week appointment last Thursday and my mom was in town so she came along. She also loved our doctor. He reassured me that our baby had just snuggled in and that he wasn't worried one bit about her growth. I had even grown a bit. Since he didn't "check me" at 35 weeks, I was so excited to see how I was progressing. He tested me for strep but didn't check me. He doesn't check until about 39 weeks. What? He said that it just gives people false hope and you may not be dilated at all and go into labor 12 hours later. I guess he's right, I'd probably look way too into things. The only thing we do know is her growth is on track and her head is down. For now, thats good enough. 

My due date is April 27. James is certain this baby is coming on May 1. Like dead set on it. For some reason I have a feeling she is going to come a couple days early. 

I still feel pretty good and really can't complain. I have definitely noticed a few changes in how I feel in the last week or two. My calves, feet, face and hands are swollen. Not bad but just enough for me to feel puffy. And I feel tingling in my feet. I think my circulation is just a little off. It is the worst at night. I feel great in the mornings but by the evenings my body aches. I have round ligament pain in my right leg as well as lower back pain. Both of these symptoms have just set in the last few days. I have been waking up at least once a night to go to the bathroom - sometimes two or three. This is VERY abnormal for me. I am a heavy sleeper and never.ever. wake up in the middle of the night. I think she is sitting lower. I simply think my body is getting ready.

I don't have many cravings but I feel like I eat all.day.long. I don't like to eat big meals - just a little bit almost every other hour. {Sad, but true} I do want sweets - a lot. But again, that is normal for me. And I am letting myself indulge this last month.

I am still trying to spin once a week. I think it helps a little with swelling. This is really the only exercise I am doing. And I feel just fine about it. I try to walk but somehow don't get myself out the door very often. Oh well, right?

My ribs are still really tender and are even burning like someone has been poking my skin all day. It is the biggest complaint I have had about pregnancy. Most of the rib pain is on the right side. Our ultrasound tech couldn't believe how far her feet were into my ribs. I was not surprised one bit. While I feel like she is lower - I have not had any lightening. She is still up in my ribs. We will see how I feel this week.

We went to a birthing class at Hoag Hospital, where we will deliver. It is a three week long program. James was able to come the first week but not the other two. While I haven't learned a ton, I am really glad we did it. It just helps to hear it all explained by a nurse and to see where you will deliver. I LOVE my hospital and doctor. They are really adamant about breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, etc. I am also planning to attend a breastfeeding class in the next week.

We have really kicked into gear around here with the baby stuff. My mom was in town for 5 days and helped me get ready. I still have quite a bit to do but it was so nice to have someone to run errands with and get partially set up. I am actually glad I saved a lot of the fun stuff for the end to help the time go by. I need to start packing my bag and get diapers etc. all lined out. 

We are still trying to decide on a middle name.

We also found out that my brother and his wife are expecting a little girl. I am thrilled for them! And of course - to have another cousin just 4 months apart.

James is gushing more and more over babies. I cannot believe how excited he is. Last week he even took a friend upstairs to show them one of her outfits. Very unlike him. The baby definitely kicks for him - and not for anyone else. My mom was here and I could not get her to kick on command. {Sorry Nana} But anytime I put my belly up against James she kicks at him. It is adorable! I feel like I am getting a glimpse into her personality. 

 I love that in the middle of the night James will roll over and put his hand on my stomach - in his sleep. It is this little moment in time that I hope to never forget. Just as this baby is prepping for life - we are prepping for parenthood.

Oh little one, we are already so in love with you. I am anxiously waiting to see your sweet face, little fingers and tiny toes.


P.S. I am rather obsessed with reading birth stories at the moment.
If you have a good one to share - please do!
I love hearing all the different experiences.